tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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