it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
