Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
