something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm always down for nudity.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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