we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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