I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
They have beer where we have blood.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
