Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
