oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
