If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
