I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
