Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
When did angry sex become our thing?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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