he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
