The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
