i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize