It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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