I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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