Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
