remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
