ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
