STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize