I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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