yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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