I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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