I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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