Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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