perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
