But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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