I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
