Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
