what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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