Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
