i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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