You work out of a Hotel?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
