I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
