I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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