this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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