my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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