Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
