I like my sex mixed with concussions.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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