If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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