i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
