they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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