Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
