I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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