it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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