on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize