She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize