Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
