we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
