I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
