How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Boobs are out for the taking
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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