just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize