I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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