She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
