Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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