Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
